June 6, 2025
DADDY MUSCLES TOO
Believe in Your Children, Teach Strong Values, Succeed as a Father
Dylan Stafford
(2025)
ISBN: 979-8284770276
Parenting Memoir Chronicles New Daddy’s Difficulties and Blessings
Dylan Stafford’s new book, Daddy Muscles Too: Believe in Your Children, Teach Strong Values, Succeed as a Father is a sequel to Dylan’s earlier book, Daddy Muscles, in which he told the story of becoming a father to his firstborn, Jackson. In this second book, Dylan chronicles his journey raising Jackson with his wife Marisa, as well as his and Marisa’s decision to adopt a second child after they had so much difficulty getting pregnant with their first child.
Written as a series of heartfelt journal entries, Dylan began chronicling his fatherhood journey because he did not want to forget the special moments as a father. He knew in time his memory would be faulty, but a documented journey would help him to relive those magical times and also leave behind a legacy for his children.
Far more than just listing daily events, Dylan’s journal entries are heartfelt and authentic expressions of his mindset along the journey. He shares the happy moments, but also the moments of panic, fear, self-doubt, and bad moods. For example, when he and his wife consider adopting a child, he has the following stream of thought:
“We can’t afford it. For sure. No way. Talked to friends. No parent, ever, in the history of the planet felt like they could afford it. Okay. Yes, melodramatic. I’m tired. It’s the end of the day, and this is the wrong time to think about this.”
Often, Dylan realizes he is too much in his mind. When he takes his son, Jack, to the park, he marvels at his son’s carefree existence and asks himself, “How can I be more like Jack? How can I worry less? How can I bounce along and chase the squirrels in my life, whether I catch them or not, just for the joy of chasing?”
While parenting has its difficult moments—including pee and poopy diapers—Dylan takes great pride in watching Jack grow and progress, including saying his first word and going to preschool. He also shares his continual concerns as a parent. When the preschool teacher tells him Jack is smart, Dylan says, “I perk up at that part. I always thought smart was good, but one of the joys of being almost forty is that some of those old ideas start to change…. I am more interested in him being social than in him being smart. You have to deal with people in life, and I’m thrilled watching him grow as a little social being.” Jack’s smallest successes also make Dylan proud. When Jack gets toilet-trained, Dylan tells us, “I’m potty-proud like he aced his SAT exam.”
Dylan also has his share of difficult parenting moments. At one point, he’s in a grumpy mood and tells his wife it’s because he’s tired from babysitting all weekend. She reminds him, “Dylan, it isn’t babysitting. It is parenting.”
Parenting remains the primary focus throughout the book, including the moving story of how Marisa and Dylan adopt their second child, Christian, after meeting the birth mother. However, Daddy Muscles Too is also a book filled with humor and introspection. One of the funniest moments in the book is Dylan’s odyssey when he has a caffeine headache, then drinks too much coffee to make up for it, and finds himself on the freeway having to urinate with Jack in the backseat. Jack is napping so he doesn’t want to stop and wake him or Jack will end up being crabby, but Dylan can’t hold out forever and eventually has to find a way to relieve himself.
Introspective moments include Dylan’s vulnerability in sharing his journey as a recovering alcoholic. He became sober not long before he met his wife. He attends Twelve-Step meetings and discovers their lessons can also be applied to his marriage and being a father. When his wife gets upset with him for something he did and he apologizes, he tells her he can’t promise he will never do it again, but he can promise he won’t do it again today, and he can renew that promise each day like he’s learned to do with not drinking. By taking things one day at a time, sobriety, parenting, and life in general are more manageable. For example, Dylan tells us:
“Just for today, I’m going to ask God that I don’t drink.
“For today only, I’m going to ask for protection from my fear and worry.
“What will I ask for tomorrow? Well, that is tomorrow’s deal. I don’t have to worry about tomorrow today.
“It’s worked for ten years so far.”
Another beautiful moment where Twelve-Step programs have helped Dylan in other areas of his life comes when he expresses his fears about adopting to his sponsor, Everett, who tells him God won’t let him adopt a baby and not give him the means to care for it.
One thing I greatly appreciate about Dylan is that he’s open-minded, non-judging, and greatly appreciative for all the good people in his life. Speaking of Everett, he says, “He’s fifteen years older than me. He’s a gay man who has been HIV positive for decades. He’s a walking medical miracle—because he is alive and functioning. He’s a person I would have never met, and he is an angel, a gift in my life who has taught me how to be a husband and now is helping me learn how to parent.”
Dylan expresses gratitude for many others, from his children’s teachers to the retired neighbor, Victoria, who drives his and the other neighbors’ children to school, and to all the friends and loved ones who encourage him. As Dylan states, “It takes a village to raise a daddy.”
Dylan also shares some delightful moments with his children. In one scene, Jack informs Dylan that manhole covers are actually the entrances to where monsters hide and they have to scare the monsters by jumping on them. On the best Father’s Day ever, Dylan and Jackson play at being pirates. In a tender moment on Dylan’s birthday, Jackson can’t sleep and asks Dylan to sleep next to him. As Dylan lays there, he thinks about how they have just adopted Christian also. He states:
“Jackson’s little sentence had pierced my silly thinking and returned me to appreciation of this life I get to live.
“I get to be a Daddy, twice.
“I get this life with Marisa, and I get to be a Daddy, too.
“Happy birthday to me.”
Finally, Dylan shares quotes from friends and family members that have inspired him. While all these quotes are insightful and entertaining, my favorite was from his friend, Eric. “Who am I to say that things are falling apart? Maybe things are falling together.”
Daddy Muscles Too is a look at a man for whom things have fallen together. Being an alcoholic could have meant never meeting the love of his life or having children. Instead, everything has fallen together for Dylan, and I suspect things keep falling together because he is so very grateful for everything he has. This book will make you laugh, help you feel appreciative, and ultimately awaken you to the miracles that surround us every day. The chance to be a father is certainly one of those miracles. I am grateful to Dylan for sharing his fatherhood journey.
For more information about Dylan Stafford and Daddy Muscles Too, visit www.DylanStafford.com.
— Tyler R. Tichelaar, PhD and Award-Winning Author of The Mysteries of Marquette
